Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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