Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize