i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
