My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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