I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize