so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
