oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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