So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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