who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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