I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
