You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
