I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
