My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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