y did u give ur computer a hand job?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
