We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
