he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
jump out the window naked night went bad
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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