it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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