She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
