he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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