I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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