yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
