Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
