Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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