my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
