Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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