Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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