wat bout pragnant strippers??
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
