Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
