You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
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