We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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