i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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