Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
