Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I stole a fireplace last night.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
