they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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