I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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