Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
