Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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