i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
