That reminds me...we need to get swords
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
