think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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