saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Do vagina's smell?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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