It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
