do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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