If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i love accidental penises.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
