i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
