whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
