there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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