he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
This can only be settled by a dance off.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
