im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
