He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
