I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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