I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
