Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
