i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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