ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
