you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
