Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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