She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
thus making me awesome and them whores
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
