Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
