Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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